Saturday, January 12, 2008

Working Our Way Through


It all started when I received a call from our Medical Center Director's secretary. She asked if I'd mind covering for their phone because the other secretary was off, and she has to attend a video conference call. It was not a problem for me since I've covered their phone many times in the past.

However, as I headed back to my office, upon opening the staircase door, which I prefer to do, rather than taking the elevator, lying there on the floor was an outpatient being revived by EMT's. They were not getting any pulse. As I watched them do what they do best, my mind wandered to his family and to this helpless outpatient whom I am sure that when he woke up that morning, had no idea that today would be the day he would be called home. I pondered on that thought and it bothered me. It made me realize how fast life is taken away from us, our mortality ... our vulnerability. I did not sleep well that night. I felt the need to assess and evaluate my goals in life. My mind was in overdrive. Am I leading a worthy life? Is my life meaningful? Will I be remembered as plain Jane Doe or as a person who made a difference on the life of others? I will find out, I hope, once I am in that mansion in the sky.

Death of the people that we know or even people that we don't know is like losing a part of our body. It brings pain that is hard to understand. As Doris Sanford of The Comforter: A Journey Through Grief, writes, "Abnormal reactions in abnormal times are normal." As much as we don't like losing someone, it is inevitable and it is never easy. But as Rabbi Earl A Grollman says, "The goal is to strike that delicate balance between the past that should be remembered and a future that must be created." Let the pain go and keep the happy memories alive.

May God be with us and help us work our way through when we take that journey of grief.

20 comments:

Nini said...

that 'call' comes sneaking like a thief. no one knows when.

i don't want to think about it, but when friends or relatives go; i cannot adequately express my own fear. nance, we're too young to think about it. it is still double digit before retirement years.

my cousin, if i can share this story, had a code blue during her surgery. she said it was the most peaceful and gentlest feeling that overcame her.

nini

Nance said...

nini, how true.

my apologies to my readers for writing a rather morbid post but this month we have over half a dozen deaths at the hospital, one of them is an acquaintance of mine ... it gets to me a little.

hope your cousin is now ok & continue to be ok. that was a close call. i've read & heard stories like that, and they all said the same thing.

r ur little pumpkins back home now? bet they enjoyed their visit!

Mari said...

Oh gosh. It seems that this subject is hovering around me this days. My friend, Jun, said to me the other day, "Ritsuko passed away." Oh no. I saw her before Christmas; she didn't look good. But we all knew that her days were numbered...she had the big "C". Then before New Year Ed texted me and said, "Justin's wife died over the weekend."

It may be morbid, but it is the reality of life...and...

Vk-mahalkaayo said...

thank you Nance,

thank you..........

Vk-mahalkaayo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vk-mahalkaayo said...

i read you comments to nini....

apologies?....no, thanks for posting this post.

I should accept and face the reality and prepared....

thanks again

Vk-mahalkaayo said...

ay oo nga about the fladenbrot-flatbread tawag ko kasi flat siya....
yon asawa ko naman, nakita, nagbiro.

oo parang rice sa atin....sandwich sa inyo?

instead or rice, yon na siya.
ang sarap pa, 1 euro lang daw yon, bili ni neneth, she brought 2 bread, hindi nga naubos, paano, kami naman, looking for Rice talaga......

happy sunday sa inyo Nance, ay oo nga ayos na ang blog ko, I can add you in my links, your both site, maybe this evening when i arrive from the church. they will pray for me daw.....

regards

Nance said...

Nini, a BIG thank you to you! i never even noticed that trash can before! lol

vk,don't worry, everything will be ok and remember, your family will be there for support.

May God be with you in times of need.

Nance said...

mari, the same thing is going on around here, it's scary! sometimes talking about it helps.

that's the law of nature, we all have to go sometime... just hope it's not too soon! :)

Mari said...

I mean, "...these days." Har har har. I was thinking of deleting it, but you already have replied to it.

Another friend's brother-in-law passed away recently. Whew...somewhat scary. Sad for those left behind...but life goes on.

ann said...

This is the least topic I want to discuss specially if you're a mother with children who are helpless and very much dependent on you.

But Mari is right, this is the reality of life, it will come whether we like it or not.

I read a blog post somewhere, wherein the husband's birthday gift to his wife is a memorial/burial plan. If I were the wife baka lasunin ko asawa ko para sya na lang gumamit nung plan ....hehehe

Nance said...

ha ha ha! that is very funny, ann!
true, death is inevitable but giving a burial plan as a birthday gift is so inappropriate! :)

Norm said...

Hello nance! nice photo, thanks sa visit and votes mo daily, have a great day..

Nance said...

dito din mari ... two of our elderly church members passed away.

norm, you're welcome! glad to help.

ev said...

part of being human...we normally feel the pain of losing the ones we love and care for..i felt that when my brother passed away, i felt like the world stopped to evolve for awhile in our family.

but as the Bible goes, "from dust man came from,from dust he shall be returneth"...

..to die inorder to have life that is eternal.

ghee said...

a very moving post,Nance.

true,we do not know how long can we live,so lets just make our lives worthy.

an acquaintance used to ask me...i still dont know the reason why im here...

probably,we will realize in times of our weakness.

TGIF!Enjoy this day!

ghee

Vk-mahalkaayo said...

Hello Nance,

kumusta, thanks for your comments and this: don't worry about a thing, it will be over before you know it ....

sorry ngayon lang ako, bc kaunti, at you know, yesterday was my 48th bday.....happy i am, celebrating with family n bernie´s family too.

and surprise din ako, cause my close friend, has visited me surprising...nagulat nga ako, sabi ko nga hindi pa ako 50 ach....lol
tawanan kami.
she´s my german friend who teaches me german culture, bevahior n etc.
we´re closed b4 and now, dahil ang mga bata iba-iba ng school kaya yon our meetings n communication hindi na masayado.
vibes kami, kasi yon kusina at kusina ko, parang one line na lang....

sigi, again, a million thanks sa prayers n sabi mo sa akin, keep it always in my mind......

until my next visit.....tc n God bless too

Nance said...

ev,
nicely put! ... to die in order to have eternal life! we should be excited to go meet our Master!

ghee,
we'll live to the fullest for we don't know what's ahead of us.
Have a good weekend!

vk,
Belated HAPPY B-DAY!!! Wish you the very best everyday and we have a lot to be thankful for.
Have a good one!

ev said...

bigla akong nagutom ah!hehe!

iba talaga pag mother's specialty..kahit simpleng recipe nagiging extraordinary..

kaya naman i salute all the dakilang ina who do the multi-tasking task of being a stage mom.

hat's off to you nance!

Vk-mahalkaayo said...

hehhheeh

natawa ako sa comments ni Ann dito....lol

lasunin na lang daw nya ang asawa nya, para siya ang used sa gift nya....nakatuwa naman ito...

Ako rin, sa isip ko rin, baka gusto ng asawa ko na wala na ako..hehehehhe

ay sorry........nakatutuwa ano?

nice your Post, Nance....it gives us to think.....do i used my life in good way or i do used it wisely or.....hay daming mga tanong ano?

sigi, alis na ako, thanks for sharing all....

naka tagal na ako, hope tuloy na ito....

Have a nice week days ....regards